I spent the last few hours packing up all my stuff and getting ready to say goodbye to Chicago. I'm usually sad to leave, but for some reason tonight I was super emotional about it and I couldn't stop crying. Crazy, right?

For some reason this trip was really hard for me. I was super psyched to see friends, family, etc. But I didn't realize how much stuff I had been holding in. I have this ridiculous tendency to be the "strong one". So when I got home I was feeling a little weak and icky and I just figured that my body was trying to recouperate from finals. But I was dealing with questions left and right about the parents divorce and having to explain why I'm not talking to my dad and how I should be a "good daughter", etc. And then one night, I felt super sick, starting shaking really bad and had this awful, hardcore panic attack. Had to breathe into a paper bag and all. Gross.

The whole thing really freaked me out. Like duh, I go to law school, I'm going to be stressed. And I've spent so much energy forcing myself to push everything else in my life in the back of my head. I was so pissed at myself for cracking. But I just hate having to leave my mom and brother in this house while I take off. Though it was great to see friends and I missed my SF friends dearly, last week was fantastic, having Matt here with my fam. It was like I had everything I needed - and now it gets ripped apart. I should just pack my family in some human sized suitcase and bring them with me.

Sorry for the sappy post...now go watch the America's Next Top Model Super Modelthon